B O N D P H O N E.
Words and pictures by Chris Lamb.

I'm at Alt, propping up the counter when the I notice my phone's ringing. It stops as I pick it up, and the missed call carries Dad's name and cellphone. Some one's dead, obviously.

I'm all ready to launch in to my speech about how yes, he's my grandfather, but he's also a disgusting wreck of an alcoholic who's stabbed our family in the neck any time we needed him and no, no, I'm not coming to the funeral but is there maybe a place I can send flowers to? when he tells me he's gotten married. Just then, just now, this exact minute only adjusted back an hour due to the time zone difference. I and my younger brothers are the proud recipients of four step siblings, ranging in age from just barely teenage, to old enough to draft, to old enough to be me. Instant family, just add priest, apparently.

Him and The Lady (I never think to ask her name, he never bothers to mention it) have known each other for years, but only started seeing each other last December. It was something they'd talked about and even started planning, when they decided to hell with fancy dresses and bell choirs, let's rock this shit in a park. So they called family and a few friends, and my youngest brother went straight from football practice, still wearing his gear, and they were married as the wind picked up and the sun went down.

There's a pause, just enough space for a breath or two, where every dumb, impulsive thing I've done, every wasted dime on crap I don't actually need or want, every misplaced remark and bad relationship I've been stuck in for saying the wrong thing, they all stand up like metal fillings and point down the invisible phone line to true magnetic North, who at that moment is standing in the parking lot of a buffet-style restaurant with room and plates enough for a gaggle of newly-related kids to tell me the good news.

Congratulations, I stutter, and an hour after putting down the phone, I'm still wondering where my nice August night went.

posted by chris  # 8:15 PM